I am Superbad. Coach Ryan is gonna be bummed.

Coach Ryan is gonna be bummed.  I did a penis run with out him.  A few weeks ago we came up with this brillionaire idea to do a run  in the shape of a penis in a big parking lot.   The Strava upload would look funny and we would surely segment it to solidify our KOM and QOM status on The Penis Run.  

I just got back from my vaca in Utah.   I elevated my heart rate there fer shure (elevation), but I didn't really do any exercise.  I didn't feel guilty because I really needed the rest (I lie I felt guilty the whole time I was drinking beer in the hot tub).   After work today I had to jet to my parental units house to pick up my dog.  I sat in training ALL freakin day at work today.  Being locked in a small training room with 6 other people all day was the suck.   My mind easily wandered and I realized I could squeeze in a run in my parents neighborhood tonight when I got there.   I was jonesin for some exercise after taking so much time off.  At 10am I raided my gym locker and realized I had enough clean clothes and sneakers to actually make it happen.   Yays!

Thankfully my mamasita saved my fun run by loaning me a pair of socks after one of my socks went rogue.   It was later discovered my dad was sitting on it.  Bah!

I headed out around 6:30 and was quite excited to run in my old neighborhood.   I haven't run on those streets since I was in college.   Blasty from the pasty!  In the beginning of my run I started thinking about the movie Superbad. More specifically how Jonah Hill was addicted to drawing pictures of man dick when he was a kid.

I don't know why I was running and thinking about that movie.  I guess I was feeling a little bit Dicky.  Wazupwidis?  I don't know.  One of the best things about running is it takes very little concentration so your mind can wander.  Mine apparently was heading straight for the gutter tonight.

My parents neighborhood has a section where the streets have women's names.   I thought, ha, how funny would it be if I would run in the shape of dicks on all of the women's streets?   Meh, why not?  It's just a fun run.   The Strava upload would be classic.   I felt a little bad doing a penis run with out my beer coach, but it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. Of course in my mind the Strava upload was going to look MUCH better than it did.

Pearl Drive was the first.   It came out pretty sloppy.  Looks more like a necklace on Pearl.  I however did giggle uncontrollably for the next couple minutes after running this.  

Notice the squiggly line to the far right of this picture.  That was not a 2nd penis attempt on Pearl.  I was chased by a dog.   I love how Strava captured that so perfectly yet screwd up all of my funnies.

 

Running up Mary Lane past Pearl Drive I thought, meh...Mary needs one too. I'll make hers special. I tried to put a little english on this one. Brilliant design I thought and this one is the one I was most proud of. Strava completely screwed Mary over. See the bend? I don't. Damn Strava!

 

 

Esther Drive was the lucky recipient of Wenis #3.  Poor Esther.  I was very meticulous making my shapes even though these look nothing like penis.   The Strava phone app does ridiculously suck and now I understand why it's so inaccurate.  Garmin FTW!  Last minute decisions forced use of the Strava phone app.  Nothin I could do.

 

Again I came upon 2 intersecting woman streets.   This surely deserved something special.   I tried to create a side view.   As you can see below, Strava screwed these 2 chicks over big time.  Susan Lane got all the ball and I almost got hit by a car on Jody Lane rounding the tip.   Uber peeved this one didn't turn out.

 



 

I ran farther down Jody Lane only to find out it was a Cul De Sac.  This deserved something special.  Yay for Cul De Sacs! Strava was getting better on this one.  That's amazeballs right there.

I ended up back on Esther Drive again and I'm glad I did. This one is a piece of art.  

 

 

 

6 mile run and 6 pseudo penis.  Good ratio.  I even stopped at the park I used to play at when I was a kid for a little swing set action.

 

This fun run was exactly what I needed to make me laugh after a long day at work.  I felt good on my run tonight too.  I feel like I'm finally recovered.  Winning!